


Anathema

by bennijie



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Character Development, Dog Mentions, Gen, doggo - Freeform, tweek is mentioned, wowie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 03:05:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13825149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bennijie/pseuds/bennijie
Summary: You will never know what's behind my skullSo won't you say good night, so I can say goodbyeAvi doesn't like to think about the accident, and the future.





	Anathema

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO  
> i have an animatic on this if you're interested!  
> https://youtu.be/AyU-bduV1n8  
> there it is (also i haven't proof read)

**_You will never know what's behind my skull  
So won't you say good night, so I can say goodbye_ **

It usually doesn’t rain in South Park.

Avi didn't like the rain. It pounded on the window in infrequent intervals and generally drove her crazy. Especially at 2am, when she was awaiting with fear of another car accident. She jittered and grabbing at her hair much more than normal and it was rather disconcerting for the for her dog, Magnus who was by her feet, head placed on her lap as he slightly laid beside her on another kitchen chair that was placed beside them. Usually, German Shepard cross Rottweiler wouldn’t stir during a storm. But, this was different, Avi was here and not asleep and instead plagued by dreams and intrusive thoughts of that same night in that same storm in that one car and that one truck driver. It was pounding in Avi’s ears, the thoughts, vibrating throughout her veins, her cells, her blood, her mind. With her constant outbursts of sobs and whimpers with enough shivering to make the house shake, caused Magnus to stir and go comfort her.

So here they were, in a dark house, sound of rolling thunder and rain pounding against the window with her heavy breathing and Magnus’ calm heartbeat. She could call Georgie, either to come over or to just occupy her mind, but it was 2am and he had a basketball game tomorrow morning.

She didn’t want to annoy him.

Avi’s legs started to jitter, staring at the hole in the wall that her Abuela framed when she punched the wall. Avi remembered being really, really, angry that night. They had _lied_ to her, or at least they didn’t tell her the truth. She stared at the hole, its cracked and acknowledges the fact that she punched a hole in the wall. Not kicked, no superpowers of any kind, _punched_ , with her bare hands. Which is kind of a feat for a 10-year-old. Her eyes traced the cracks that stretched from out of the hole, squinting slightly at the fading ones in the darkness under one light which was delicately hanging from the ceiling.

**_You will never know what's under my hair  
So won't you say good night, so I can say goodbye_ **

She looked down at her hand that was pulling at her hair, fingerless gloves removed to show nasty scars with one or two strands of blonde curly hair from her head. She took notice on how they shook violently and how it was in relation to her mind feeling like static.

Why did the accident take her hands instead?

**_You will never know what's under my skin  
So won't you say good night, so I can say goodbye_ **

She didn’t really understand what she was asking herself, she acted like she did though.

**_You will never know what is in my veins  
So won't you say good night, so I can say goodbye_ **

The rain fell harder, Avi’s lungs began filling up with petrol with the thoughts of being trapped in that car again. She pulled a couple of strands from her hair. She wanted to light the petrol and let that fire burn inside her, ultimately consuming her forever in an eternal blaze.

She wished that she wasn’t _reborn_ that night.

A car pulled up in the driveway.

Her heart raced.

The door opened.

**_Won't you go to someone else's dreams?  
Won't you go to someone else's head?_ **

A lone figure stood in the doorway. She could see a small smile forming on his face.

“hola, mi ángel Avileen”

Only he can call her Avileen.

She nods to him. Magnus’ head perks up from her lap. The man shuts the door behind him and sits down at the table on the other side. She could clearly see his skin, wrinkly, but only a little. She could see his eyes, a little duller since she last saw them, but they were still as mossy as hers. There were strands of grey hair on his head and his beard, slightly outgrown and in need of trim. He was a large man, both in size and muscle in his blue polo shirt and brown pants. To everyone, he was intimidating and of course he was. He was in the military and then became someone who served death row last meals to men. He always had a stern and black and white neutral face, even around his wife. But, Avi was the exception.

A good exception.

**_Haven't you taken enough from me?  
Won't you torture someone else's sleep?_ **

Avi yawns. “hola abuelo” she grins

“can you not sleep?” he asks

 _‘His English is getting better’_ she thinks _‘good for him’_

“lluvia” she says, a little bit of a slur in her words

He pauses, as a type of way to learn English, Avi would sometimes drop random words on him at he already knows or is learning to test him, getting it right sometimes.

**_And you will never know what I'm thinking of  
So won't you say good night, so I can say goodbye_ **

“Ahhh, the rain” he tends to butcher his words a little when speaking. “Rain is loud”

“Yeah” Magnus jumps down from the chair and goes upstairs, out of sight.

“How are you feeling?” he asks shifting in his seat slightly

She rubs her eyes, preferring not to talk about it, but talks anyway. **** _  
And you will never understand what I believe  
So won't you say goodnight, so I can say goodbye_

“azul y naranja” she says

“blue and orange” he echoes back, nodding slightly “Rosa is not feeling so well still” he says

“Okay” Avi says, fingers fiddling with her jacket string over her yellow nightgown.

She felt comfortable enough to show her scars to him. She was the first face she saw when being born after all. One of her fingers brushed the slashed scar across her neck and draws her hand away into her pockets and leans back in disappointment.

 **** _Haven't you taken enough from me?_  
Won't you torture someone else's sleep?  
Won't you go to someone else's dreams?  
“Is she coming out later than we thought then?” she asks, eyes meeting his

She got why they were duller than usual.

He clears his throat “She might leave soon” he says

“Will we be able to follow her?” she asks

“Avileen-“

“I can earn more money from busking” she says frantically, clenching at the wooden table that he made with his hands.

**_Won't you go to someone else's head?_ **

“Avileen, detener”

“I can go to that farm and milk cows or something” she stands up a little

“Avileen, escucha”

**_Haven't you taken enough from me?_ **

“How much do you need? I can do something!”

“Avileen!” he yells, slamming his hands on the table loud enough to fight a hurricane with endless thunder and lighting.

He was thunder, his lover was lightning and they caused rain, which was her.

Avi slowly sits down. “What’s wrong?” she asks not moving “¿Se encuentra ella bien?”

_Is she okay?_

**_Won't you torture someone else's sleep?_ **

Her hands hurt.

“The Doctores told me that she has” he pauses “two to three months left”

She hated this night.

She hated the rain, she blamed the rain, she blamed the truck driver, she blamed him, she blamed the doctors, she blamed the questions buzzing in her mind. She hated everything.

The petrol in her lungs was lit and she refused to extinguish the flames.

“Is there anything we can do?”

The rain didn’t bother her, that sound was replaced with endless and loud static.

He shakes his head.

Nothing can be done. Nothing can be done. Nothing can be done.

Why can’t anything be done?

Avi’s eyebrows join in hate, holding hands like they’re at a peace protest.

“I’m sorry”

He nods his head. “Do not be like that, we have plenty of time”

**_And you will never know what I'm thinking of_ **

**_So won't you say good night, so I can say goodbye_ **

_‘No, we have 3 months at the latest and then we’ll never see her again’_

She tried not to dwell on it. But it was hard.

“how are you feeling now?” he asks

 ** _And you will never understand what I believe  
_** “negro”

The petrol was ash. Black burning ash that infected her mind, thoughts, speech and actions became a complete blur to her memory fading away as she was looking at the wood.

He lit a cigarette, Avi slid over the ashtray. A sigh leaves his lips, in sync with the AC’s rattling moan. Avi was just ten years old and she’s stared death straight in the eye and given it the middle finger, she was comfortable with it. Fights at school and outside of it, stealing, smashing things in the junkyard, death all had something to do with it. But that night when she saw all the pieces of a broken bottle strewn across the floor by her grandad, she didn’t know what to think. Then he looked to him and saw, in his eyes, that she broke in five places, too. But what really broke her was realising how often she’d seen him, but just didn’t say anything, because she didn’t want to accept it.

Her voice trails off, before the final words, but she thinks them, thinks them clear and solemn, like a prayer. With the last strum on her guitar she looks around the coffee shop, no one heard her. Tweek gives her an empathetic look from behind the counter as he takes someone else’s order.

It’s just her. She’s fine.

She’s okay.

**_So won't you say goodnight, so I can say goodbye_ **

 

 


End file.
